by Nakeeta Archibald

Is squirting always a result of internal (aka “G-Spot”) stimulation?


There’s actually no univocal connection between squirting and G-spot stimulation. On the other hand that’s not to say that squirting doesn’t happen as a result of G-spot stimulation too.

Squirting and /or “gushing” can actually happen solely through external stimulation, i.e; touching the vulva, without even inserting a fingertip inside the vagina.

Isn’t squirting this fashionable ‘must-have’ that every woman wants to be able to do?

No. While there is a lot of hype and fetishisation around squirting being the pinacle of sexual capability, for the women who experience it in real life (let’s keep porn out of the picture for now) it can be inconvenient and embarrassing. The undeniable stigma and persistent belief that it’s just ‘peeing during sex’ does nothing to help this.

Is squirting the equivalent to being incontinent?

Here’s another big, big NO.

Squirting happens solely during sexual activity. The vulva and/or vagina must be stimulated usually with a finger, vibrator, penis (or whatever else you’ve using to be stimulated during sexual activity) to result in the expulsion of liquid (squirting).

Incontinence on the other hand, is the release of small amounts of urine in everyday moments (it often occurs from coughing, laughing, screaming, sneezing) with – obviously – no genital stimulation.

So, to recap:

Squirting = small to very large amounts of liquid, it may be off-white or clear, via the urethra, during sex, or sexual play (alone or with someone else).

Incontinence = small to medium amounts of urine, via the urethra, not related to sexual activity or genital stimulation.

What might be the biggest difference between the two is this: you cannot stop an incontinence episode, even if you’d like to, even if you try to. On the other hand, you can stop a squirting episode.

It would mean more or less putting a stop to your sexual pleasure, but it is possible. As a matter of fact, a woman may be on the verge of squirting during sex, and feel an urge that is very similar to the pee urge. As the general reaction to this feeling is to hold it back, this in turn stops the juice from being released.

Are you sure squirting isn’t peeing? Can a woman squirt without being incontinent?

Yes, yes yes. Assuming a woman who happens to squirt is incontinent is incredibly disrespectful, let alone unsubstantiated.

The anti-squirting advocates use this hypothesis relentlessly, it’s a great way of sex-shaming women: not being able to fully control our own bladder is shameful, and women are generally worried about the topic. So what better way to make a woman uncomfortable than telling her that her body’s response to sexual pleasure is actually a bladder dysfunction – that she’s peeing herself while making love or masturbating?

But it’s a big, fat LIE.

There are lots and lots of women who experience squirting during sex but no problem controlling their bladder in their daily lives.

But wait, can’t a woman squirt AND also be incontinent?

Of course it may happen. But it is essential to keep in mind that the two don’t go together – they’re utterly distinct and separate.

Moreover, being incontinent is not a irreversible condition. There are exercises specifically tailored to rebuild the pelvic floor ( “Kegel exercises”, “Kegel balls”, and also “Hypopressive method”).

If you happen to damp your panties a little while coughing, laughing, screaming or sneezing (regardless of whether you generally squirt during sex) you may want to address the issue with your GP or gynecologist.

Ok so squirting isn’t pee. But then, what liquid is squirting made of?

Let’s be honest: there’s no scientific answer to this question yet.

It is true that the squirting liquid comes out from the urethral orifice, same as urine. It is also true that it has a similar texture: both squirting fluid (let’s say: gushing) and urine are not sticky, which makes squirt very different from the type of juices a vagina discharges while aroused. BUT the squirting fluid does not have the same color, smell or taste as pee.

Is squirting the same thing as having an orgasm?

This is a very common misconception. The answer, not at all.

Squirting can happen once or multiple times during sex. It provides pleasurable sensations, which some women describe as a ‘release’ and it can indeed lead to orgasm.

However, squirting and an orgasm are not one in the same, and do not necessarily occur simultaneously.

Did you cum? Why We Fake it and Why it Matters:

by Nakeeta Archibald

I didn’t realize faking an orgasm was a thing, until, well… I started having sex myself which in writing this article sent me back to ’97 and this in particular scene. I get it now. But popular media aside, real people having real sex actually fake orgasms more than you’d think and for a variety of reasons. Have you ever faked it? I know I have, maybe more times than I’ve seen that movie. In retrospect, I realize how destructive this practice really is. If you’re having sex with the goal of orgasm in mind, why on earth would you fake it? Faking it sends signals to your partner that you are super into what is going on, and that’s a good way to get you there. But it’s not. Communication is key- whether that’s through a Yes, No Maybe guide, body language or plain old conversation. You should be having the sex you deserve.

A study explored gender differences in young adult heterosexual men’s and women’s experiences, beliefs, and concerns regarding the occurrence or nonoccurrence of orgasm during sexual interactions, with emphasis on the absence of female orgasm during intercourse

  • The most common concern regarding lack of female orgasm in a partnered context focused on the negative impact this might have on the male partner’s ego.
  • Male and female participants also agreed that men have the physical responsibility to stimulate their female partner to orgasm, while women have the psychological responsibility of being mentally prepared to experience the orgasm.
  • Men and women tended to maintain different beliefs, however, regarding clitoral stimulation during intercourse, as well as the importance of female orgasm for a woman’s sexual satisfaction in a partnered context.
  • Participants reported faking an orgasm in approximately one-fourth of sexual encounters in their current sexual relationship, most commonly during vaginal sex.
  • Faking orgasm for reasons related to a poor sexual experience or to poor partner choice was the strongest predictor; associated with lower levels of desire and sexual and relationship satisfaction.
  • Faking orgasm to support a partner’s emotional well-being was associated with higher levels of desire.
  • Faking orgasm because one was intoxicated, having undesired sex, or out of a desire to improve the quality of the sexual encounter was associated with higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

Secret to an Orgasmic Experience

by master Web

Sex can be, and can be used for, so many different things. But early in a relationship, once you get through a couple of awkward rounds, sex can play a big role in building intimacy and even falling in love.

There is sex that is straight up sex for sex's sake— passionate, charged, carnal. There's awkward, first-time with someone you really like sex. There's random hookup sex. There's long-term couple trying to spice it up sex. The list goes on—but building intimacy during sex is one we rarely talk about.

Warning: The following sex acts may lead to the awkward "Oh crap one of us said "I love you" during sex— does it count!?" dilemma. Don't worry. It happens to the best of us. It's no need to be embarrassed, even if it is really awkward. Just remember you're not alone. (And the generally consensus seems to be that it doesn't really count.) Between a really intimate act that you're doing, heart racing, hormones all over the place, it's so easy to let it slip out in the moment.

But what are the more intimate sex acts? The ones that can make you feel so connected to your partner and overwhelmed with emotions? Here are 6 sex acts that help build intimacy.

1. Kissing

I know it may seem basic, but don't discount kissing as a very important sex act. And maybe the most intimate one. Along with cuddling, a lot of people avoid kissing during one-night standsbecause of this. It's something we do all the time, but sometimes we can get distracted during sex and not do it as much as we should. But if you stick to positions where kissing is an option, you'll really feel connected to your partner.

2. Missionary

Maybe because it's sort of the classic go-to position, there's definitely something romantic about it. Your faces and your entire bodies are very, very close, and the weight of whoever is on top keeps you in constant contact. And it's not just for hetero sex. So whoever you are, there can be all the eye contact, kissing, and intimacy you can handle.

3. Oral Sex

Oral sex is intimate no matter what, because you're getting up close in personal with parts of the body we're normally taught should be kept hidden. But while every man I've ever met unselfconsciously loves a blow job, a lot of women find someone going down on them incredibly intimate— almost intimidatingly so. Maybe it's because you end up with someone's tongue basically, or definitely, inside you, or maybe it's just that we're taught to be even more ashamed of our vulva and that people don't like going down on it. (Both of which are ridiculous.) In any case, for a lot of women getting to a point where you're completely comfortable with oral sex means a whole lot of trust.

4. Undressing

When you're new in a relationship it's probably all about tearing each other's clothes off, but then it slows down. I'm not saying you need some kind of big cheesy striptease, or to make a whole event out of it, but there's something really sexy and romantic about building up from just a bit of kissing, to heavy kissing, to feeling each other, and then slowly going beneath the clothing and removing them completely. All of that combined with making out can be a really connect you to your partner.

5. Side-By-Side

Similarly to missionary, having sex facing each other, both of you on your side, has the benefit of all over contact and your faces being close for kissing, or just some sickly-sweet staring into each other eyes. But while in missionary, one person is definitely dominant within the position, when you have sex side-by-side there's a more even playing field. Especially if you're having lesbian sex and mutually fingering each other, it's a really leveling, connecting position.

6. Post-Sex Cuddle

If you are a better person than me and lay there without making a horrible awkward joke, it's when you kind of bask in a little love halo (if you're having sex with someone you have romantic feelings for). Taking some time to relax into that and just enjoy it is a sure way to build intimacy.

Crazy Sexual Fantasies on Your Bucket List

by master Web

Crazy isn't really a great word to describe a sexual fantasy, why should it be crazy. If your mind can conceive it then your body, with a little or a lot of help can probably achieve it. Think about it, sex has a come a far way from the 80’s till now, subjects and sex acts that were taboo are now commonplace and freely talked about. Your fantasies are a part of who you are and sometimes are triggered by your inner desires fears or experiences. It's easy to purchase all the bells, whistles and toys, so why should they be taboo. Don't be afraid to explore your wild side and make some of those fantasies on your bucket list a reality. So ….how many of these have you tried?


Being dominated is a desire of both men and women. Giving up control, letting go and giving in to someones whims and fantasies, while following instructions can be a powerful aphrodisiac and spice up the dullest relationship. It’s up to you how far you want to take it. If you fantasize about bondage then you can go the whole nine yards, whips, chains, cuffs, leather. Feel free to spank them, order them around, kneel at your feet and beg for what he or she wants.

Rape fantasy

Taken against your will by force might not sound like a fantasy, but lots of women dream and fantasize about being pushed up against a wall, clothes torn open, pinned up against the wall, fondling and groping the vagina and women penetrated from behind. Don’t get me wrong rape is rape, but sex between consenting adults can be anything you want it to be.

Three is definitely not a crowd

Yea it’s the new norm for some, but still a fantasy for others. Two men, one woman, two women one man.The pleasure and combinations are endless, one licking and sucking the other concentrating on penetration, whatever tickles your fancy (literally).

Girl on girl

Most women fantasize about having sex with another girl. The female body is very sensuous and the idea of two bodies rubbing up against each other, licking, stroking, sucking and even penetration, ticks all the right boxes. Who knows your body better and what buttons to push to get you to the ultimate, intense climax. It doesn’t necessarily mean you're gay just open to the possibilities. Who’s watching

Being on display and having an audience can be highly erotic and thrilling, the audience can vary as well as the setting. Some prefer a more private, intimate setting, some love the thrill of doing it in public and the risk of getting caught. Buses, cars, bathrooms, parks, yard, work, home, a parent or friend’s home the possibilities are endless.

So whatever you decide to try, be safe and have fun.

How To Keep Your Sex Toy Like New

by master Web

Cleaning Solutions

Antibacterial soap and warm water is a must for cleaning toys. Any toy has come in contact with blood, should be washed in soap and water and then soaked in a solution of one part household bleach to nine parts water. Remember to rinse well in clear water after to remove any of the cleaning residue. There are also several commercial adult toy cleaning solutions that can be purchased that have been specially formulated to kill all bacteria and germs but preserve the life of the toys.


Cyberskin, Neoskin, and other skin-like materials: Depending on material, these can be porous so a thorough wash and dry is the way to go. Fetish Secretz recommends a light coating of cornstarch to keep these toys maintained. Cyberskins are extremely sensitive and should be cleaned following use with warm water and stored in a clean dry place. Be sure to read the manufacturers instruction on how to care for these products.


Tying up is one of the classic BDSM moves and one that many people are familiar with. Tying your partner to a chair or a bed restricts their movement and gives you a kind of control over them you wouldn't otherwise have and with their physical choices limited, your partner has to just lay there and enjoy themselves. The roles can be reversed as well, with you being tied up and your partner having their way with you.

Another prime tenet of BDSM is spanking, caning, and slapping. A little bit of pain heightens the pleasure for many people. The keyword here is a little bit. Most people do not enjoy severe pain, which will break them out of the mood. If you do decide to add in a little slapping and spanking, especially if you're using riding crops or other tools, be gentle and ramp up slowly so no one gets hurt.Devices aren't to everyone's taste, but some people really enjoy them. Some devices play to the submissive aspects of BDSM, including ball gags, dog collars, and leashes. Others are meant to cause pain, such as nipple clamps or clothespins. Regular sex toys can also play a role in this kind of sex play, as long as everyone is okay with how they're being used.It's a little frightening to have your senses restricted in any way. This can include putting on blindfolds or masks to reduce sight, using earplugs to reduce hearing, or restraints to reduce movement. Double check what you do before beginning so everyone feels safe.While role playing can take many forms, the dominant and submissive roles are two of the most common in BDSM. Sometimes it's fun to order someone around, while other times it can be nice to be told what to do.

Choose your roles beforehand, then let the person "in charge" give the orders. Whoever is submitting during this session must follow them, or pay the price.Everyone loves the dirty general fantasy, don't they? If your partner makes you call him "sir" for the entirety of a lovemaking session, it can really add an extra spark. Of course, you should choose whatever title appeals most to you.

Perhaps "Your Majesty" or "Madam" would feel more appropriate. Stick to the titles throughout, and resort to your punishments for any slip-ups.BDSM can be a really fun way to liven things up in the bedroom, whether you've been with someone for years or are trying to see how flexible a new partner is. Whatever you do and whomever you do it with, just don't forget that sex is a very personal and vulnerable act, and both parties must be comfortable with proceedings in order for it to be good, consensual sex.

BDSM is great for some couples, but others find it isn't for them. No matter what your take, just be respectful and have fun.

While going through a dry spell is normal, unscheduled or unplanned sex can do wonders for your relationship. Spicing up your love life increases levels of passion for each other and puts spontaneity back in your relationship, making you both feel better about your commitment to each other.

Sex with your partner is an act of love. So what better way to strengthen your relationship than to actively engage in a loving activity? If busy schedules or any other preventative issues have put a damper on your sex life, make time, whether its tonight or this weekend, for sex. It'll be a good way to remember and renew your feelings and love.
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