by Sade Buckeridge

The male genitalia has been a source of pleasure for centuries. It has nurtured empires, has assisted in the rise of armies, and has also bought entire empires down. All because the phallus was hungrier than the might of the human brain.

However, with the advent of technology and a fast-moving life, it became a part of a mad rat race. Eventually, economic concerns and dreams to build new-age empires pushed it to the backyard of ignominy.

This, however, doesn’t stop the raging bull that man is from attesting to his testosterone drives. It needs to wage a war against the pretentious world all the while caressing his male ego. The penis is no longer an adjunct to a sexual play of individuals but a partner to a hand and a soul wanting to vent.


1. Set The Mood

You would have surely done the same had your partner been there to indulge in a ravenous exercise, then why not do the same when you are using your imagination? Don't make your hand just do a "task", enjoy it, do something for the pleasure of your buddy down there

How Vaginal Mapping Can Be a Part of Your Sexual Healing

by Sade Buckeridge

A yoni massage is a type of tantric touch that isn’t about sex or orgasm. In Sanskrit, yoni directly translates to “sacred portal” and is the word used for vulva or vagina.

This practice is about slowing down, deep breathing, and connecting with your body through exploration. Yoni massage is often described by experts as a kind of sexual therapy for the body, in which people can find release, healing, and pain relief.

Trauma is not a singular moment that happens, it is the body's response, often feeling like a shapeshifting monster that lives inside our bones.

While talk therapy and support groups provide an incredible resource for people who have experienced sexual assault — bodies can hold onto memories and trauma long after being mentally processed. Somatic work, such as yoni massage, opens a new pathway of healing for survivors of sexual assault.

While yoni is often narrowly defined in modern wellness communities to focus on cis-women, our understanding is broad to include non-binary people, trans men, and trans women.

For people with a penis, vaginal mapping can be practiced on the inguinal canals or anus to “help restore blood flow and sensation as well as release trauma,” says Tantra and Intimacy Coach, Mackensey Alexander. Those who don’t identify with the term yoni may opt for different verbiage such as genital tantric massage.

Massage Techniques

The different techniques used for a yoni massage are called “mudras” by experts. However, instead of getting bogged down by terminology or specifics, Alexander recommends tapping into your body wisdom.

“Play around with different types of touch, i.e. deep tissues massage, circles, up and down strokes, light pinches, tickles on the labia, slow massage around the opening of the vagina, gentle slaps,” she says. “All of these different styles of touch help to restore sensation and bring blood flow to the yoni.”

These techniques apply to external stimulation and massage. It can be helpful to use a body-safe oil to massage your stomach and thighs before moving to the genitals. This process is about slowing down and relishing in the release.

For internal work, Alexander offers vaginal mapping or yoni de-armoring as a technique. Using an ample amount of lube during this step is helpful, especially if you are experiencing vaginal pain.

“Begin to feel around for any spots of tension, pain, or numbness. Apply pressure in these areas, gentle at first, but leaning into your pain edge,” Alexander explains. “Areas that commonly need de-armoring are the entrance to the vagina, the G-spot, and cervix, but every body is different. Hold each spot for 30 to 90 seconds, continuing to breathe and express any emotions or sounds that arise.”

She laments the importance of breathing and using your voice to release throughout the process. This type of healing can be done in one session or you can focus on a singular tension point for an entire session. However, yoni massage works best when you practice continually, especially if you are working through trauma.

Vaginal Mapping as Sexual Healing

Beyond emotional trauma such as PDST, anxiety, or depression — sexual assault can result in physical pain such as vaginismus, vulvodynia, or fibromyalgia. “Even though you might not be consciously aware of the stress or trauma you carry in your body, over time it can lead to pelvic pain, vaginal numbness, tension, and irritation,” says Alexander. “Focusing on releasing the built-up stress in your body allows space for more blood flow and sensation and therefore, more pleasure!”

The importance of breath and vocal release during a yoni massage is vital, they allow you to strengthen the connection with your sexual energy. Alexander recommends asking your body for consent before penetration for vaginal mapping as it helps build a sense of trust and safety.

You may find there are times your body intrinsically desires penetration during the massage and other times it does not. This work of reestablishing trust through self-consent can be incredibly healing for survivors who struggle to talk about their desires.

The result of a yoni massage often comes in the form of immense release of painful emotions or trauma held in genital tissue. “At the end of your yoni massage, whether you practiced solo or were the receiver, it is a great idea to place your hands on your body and rest with yourself,” recommends Alexander. “Ask yourself what you need.”

You can journal about the experience, make some tea, cuddle a pet or stuffed animal, give yourself a hug, call a friend, or take a bath. Providing yourself aftercare allows for a soft closing ritual to this experience which can rupture deep wounds.

How to Give Yourself a Yoni Massage

Before settling down to give yourself a yoni massage, take a moment to set the mood for yourself. Light a candle, drink some tea, make your bed with clean sheets, and have your oil/lube ready — anything that will enhance your comfort level.

Start by focusing on taking deep breaths and resting your hands on your body — this allows you to tune into any sensations arising and listening to what your body needs from you.

After gently massaging your stomach, thighs, and vulva in large circles, Alexander says to begin focusing on your mons pubis and labia.

“The most important part is to remember to breathe. Breathing in combination with physical touch helps to alleviate tension from the body,” says Alexander. “Take your time. It is important to not rush through the process, but rather really focus on any subtle sensations, emotions arising or places of tension you feel around your pubic bone or in your tissues.”

This is an explorative process that can last anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes using the techniques above. While the goal of a yoni massage is not orgasm, it could come naturally from the experience.

“Pleasure is such good medicine for your nervous system. It’s a great way to finish your yoni massage, especially if you’ve released trauma or heavy emotions,” says Alexander.

If you are adding internal massage to your practice, toys may enhance the experience. Pelvic floor wands focus on releasing specific trigger points, Alexander recommends Intimate Rose.

Going to a Tantric Professional

Some people may find it challenging to relax and receive while giving themselves a yoni massage — going to a tantric professional is another option. These sessions focus on deep tissue massage and myofascial internal and external release.

“When I give yoni massages my focus is on holding space for my client to have a deeply connective experience with their own body and sexuality,” says Alexander. “Receiving a yoni massage is a great way to practice using your voice, helping you to feel more comfortable navigating consent and communication during a connection practice.”

You can talk to a practitioner beforehand about what you are hoping to get out of your experience and any specific points of release you are wanting to prioritize. Feeling safe and at ease with a tantric professional is vital prior to receiving a yoni massage.

Ways to Figure Out Which Anal Toy Is Right for You

by Sade Buckeridge

Hey have You decided that you're ready to take the plunge - that you're ready to add an anal toy to your toy box. Whether you've only played with fingers before and want something larger, want to surprise a partner with a new toy, or are just trying to experience brand new sensations from your body, an anal toy can be the solution.After all, anal toys can be very versatile. Are you familiar with all of the types of anal toys out there? There are prostate , butt plugs, wireless-controlled vibrating butt plugs, anal beads, anal stretching toys, anal dildos, douching supplies, and more.

Choosing the perfect anal toy can seem a bit daunting. There are hundreds of anal toys out there - each with individual designs and specific uses. An anal toy that works well for wearing out and about might not be the best fit for solo masturbation. Toys designed for stretching to play with the biggest dildo you own will likely not be a good fit for a quick stretching before anal sex. So how are you supposed to know which toys will be the best fit for you?

You Want to Wear It Outside

Butt plugs! The most important aspect of taking your anal play out and about is having a sex toy that stays in, without fail, without worry and without discomfort. That means butt plugs are the way to go. However, not every butt plug is going to be your perfect pal. Make sure to do some trial runs in the privacy of your own home. You want to be able to stand up, walk around, and bend over without feeling the toy slip out of your bottom. Worst-case scenario? Make sure to wear underwear when wearing the plug outdoors - just in case it slides out.

You Want to Wear It Around the House

There's something about enjoying the "naughty" feeling of anal play while doing mundane household chores that puts a little sexy spontaneity into your day. If you'd like to enjoy a hands-free anal toy experience while doing things around your home, you're going to want to go, again, with a butt plug. Unlike a butt plug you'd choose to wear outside, you don't have to be as particular with an indoor toy. While it might be frustrating to have your plug slip out occasionally, it's easy enough to go into your own bathroom and slide things back where they need to be. Consider a vibrating anal plug or a thicker butt plug than you'd usually consider because of the laid-back atmosphere of your home.

You Want Someone Else to Control It in Public

When you want someone else to control your pleasure in a "risky" environment, you're going to need to move towards a wireless-controlled vibrating butt plug. These have grown in popularity over the past few years. With the press of a button on the tiny remote, your partner will be able to control the intensity of the vibrations while the two of you sit over dinner at your favorite restaurant. Maybe they'll even bump the intensity, just a little bit, just in time for you to order your food. If you're planning on using your vibrating butt plug in a public space, make sure to do a test-run at home to ensure the vibrations are quiet enough – and that the plug stays in.

You Want to Use it to Prep for Larger Toys Over Time

Like anything else about the human body, your body can be "trained" to accept and enjoy larger and larger toys over time. In fact, this is usually the recommended path for those who are new to anal sensations and want to eventually enjoy anal sex. You start with a single, small toy and wear it for awhile until your body feels no discomfort from its penetration. You then choose a larger anal toy - and repeat the process. When choosing a toy to prep yourself for long-term enjoyment, you'll want to choose a toy that has a diameter that's larger than your current comfort level. If you choose a butt plug, you'll want to choose one that's only slightly larger than your current level - and then purchase again when you get comfortable. However, if you're on a limited budget (or don't want a treasure trove of butt toys!), it might be worth looking into a large dildo that has a nicely tapered size. That means the toy is much smaller towards the tip than it is at the base. The point of this type of dildo is that you slowly insert the dildo, day after day, and allow your body to adjust to the size. Don't expect to be able to take this dildo to the base - at least, not anytime soon. The point of buying a toy with such a varying size along the shaft is that you can use each point of the shaft as a new spot for stretching yourself.

You Want to Use It to Prep for Larger Toys That Evening

Would you like to be prepped and ready for anal sex that night? First off, if you're looking to prep yourself from the "hygienic" end, consider investing in a douche or enema kit. If you're looking to prep yourself for easier penetration, you need to find something that will help you adjust your butt to the size of a larger item. If you'd like to "set it and forget it", a butt plug just slightly smaller than the item you'd like to later receive can be a good choice. You can also get an anal dildo that's slightly smaller than the item you'd like to receive later.

You Want to Use It for Solo Masturbation

Any anal toy that you want to use for solo masturbation needs to be simple enough that you can "set it and forget it" or manipulate it with a single hand. Presumably, your other hand might be otherwise occupied! Butt plugs, with their "set it and forget it" mentality, can be a good addition to masturbation. However, you might be seeking more intensity from your anal toy. If that's the case, consider anal beads with an easy-removal handle. The helpful handle should make it easier to move your beads around with a single hand. If that's not up your alley, consider a dildo with a suction cup. The suction cup can keep the toy in place for hands-free penetration.

You Want to Use It as Foreplay With Your Partner

Every anal toy out there can be used as foreplay with a partner! You don't have to worry about size, ability to use it yourself, or the ability to be discreet. Pick whichever anal toys appeal to you. Butt plugs or anal beads can be great choices if you'd like to continue to explore each other's bodies with both hands as the item is inserted. Anal dildos can be pleasurable choices if you're looking for a more active way to explore anal sensations with your partner. An enema or douche can be an intimate and vulnerable way to ready yourselves for deep anal intercourse later on.

You're Male-Bodied and Want Hands-Free Orgasms

If you're male-bodied and want hands-free orgasms, your best bet is a prostate toy. While these toys usually have cumbersome bases that won't work for sitting on and slim diameters that don't work for stretching, they DO have a design that's specifically crafted to hit the prostate. You slip in the prostate massager, and with every internal clenching of your muscles, the toy will press up against the prostate. Some also vibrate for an extra kick! While achieving hands-free orgasms your first use is unlikely, quite a few users have been able to have hands-free orgasms after some practice. (Unfortunately, female-bodied individuals don't have a prostate, so while these toys may feel fantastic, they may not be orgasmic for female-bodied individuals.)

Hope to hear your review of your first time choosing your anal Toy .

The G-Spot, the P-Spot, and Other Erogenous Zones You Should Know About!

by Sade Buckeridge

The G-Spot

The G-spot really isn’t a spot at all; it’s actually just an area, another erogenous zone. While this area can generally be found on the front wall of the vagina, it is going to be a little different on every body. This is also the area that enables some women to squirt when it’s stimulated.

Other names for the G-spot, or G-area, that you may have heard are the urethral sponge, the para-urethral glands, and the Gutenberg spot.

It’s easiest to find when you’re aroused because your blood is flowing. This engorges the spongy tissue that the G-spot is comprised of. First, put your fingers into the vagina (I recommend your pointer and middle to start, but do whatever feels comfortable), with your fingertips facing your belly button. Often, the G-spot can be found about one to three inches along the front vaginal wall. Your vaginal wall might be mostly smooth, and then you might hit a bumpy area that’s raised, and it might be roughly the size of a walnut or almond. If that’s the case, you’ve hit your G-spot!

How Does It Work?

Once the blood has filled the spongy tissue that makes up the G-spot, it will be engorged. As C. Murphy so beautifully describes in their article about finding G-spot bliss, “...the usual order of operations for G-spot stimulation is warming up, introduction of the G-spot to stimulation, and then the preferred method of stimulation. Some people skip a step, some really lavish on one particular step, some ejaculate, some orgasm multiple times and some don't orgasm at all.”

How to Play With Your G-spot

This really depends on your body and what gets you all hot and bothered.If you don’t really feel the area even after a little foreplay, it’s because everyone’s blood flows a little differently and everyone’s tissue might engorge at varying rates, but if it feels good regardless, One position that can help you find that area is by lying on your back, pulling your knees into your chest, and sliding your fingers inside of your vagina, moving your fingers in a “come hither” motion.

Regardless of whether you can feel the engorged area, most G-spots enjoy some pressure (and always lube). This pressure can come from fingers, penises, or toys: pick your most pleasurable poison. It usually helps if the object applying pressure is curved, more firm, and almost pinpointed to really stimulate the area. Rocking motions can be a great first start as lots of bodies respond positively to repetitive rhythms.

The P-Spot

The P-spot gets its name because it’s a part of the prostate, which is a muscular gland that surrounds the neck of the bladder on people with penises. Similar to the G-spot, the P-spot is also more of a P-area in a general region of the body. Stimulating the P-spot can elicit intense orgasms, and is best accomplished by inserting fingers or a toy into the anus and pushing gently toward the front of the body, in the direction of the belly button.

Where Is It?

Go on a prostate hunt when you’re aroused. This is the easiest way to find it. Insert your finger little by little until you feel a little rough bumpy area just a couple of inches inside your rectum and up towards the root of the penis. If you feel a spongy area, this is your P-spot. Typically it is the size of a walnut in younger folks, but increases in size as people age, and can be as large as a plum. The prostate gland’s primary function is as a para-urethral gland that produces fluid for semen.

How Does It Work?

Stimulation and massage can feel very pleasurable to the P-spot. There tends to be a lot of stigma around anal play, but forget that. If it feels great, why not try it? You’ll want to engage in some sort of foreplay - whether physical or mental (or both) - to arouse your body before you begin.

How to Play With Your P-spot

Always, always use lube! I'd suggest something thicker, maybe Sliquid Sassy, and something water-based for beginners so you have more control and less accidental slip. After testing it a few times, I'd recommend a silicone lube, which will be longer lasting, as long as you're not using a silicone toy (silicone on silicone will break each other down). Once you’ve got lube, you can use fingers or toys to stimulate this area of the prostate from inside the anal canal. The reason lubricant is so important is because the anus isn’t elastic and isn’t self-lubricating - lube facilitates an easy glide.

If you want to use toys to pleasure the P-spot, but don’t know where to start, try something with a firm curve that bends toward the belly once it's inserted into the anus. Here’s a great guide for 10 awesome prostate toys to try.

Anal play shouldn’t hurt if you’re doing it right, and if you’re trying it for the first time, take deep breaths and relax. Relaxation allows your muscles - including the ones around your anus - to relax.

Let’s take one second to test this theory (I promise this is #SFW!): tense your whole body, tense your face muscles, tense your shoulders, tense your abdomen, tense your buttocks, tense your thighs, tense your calves, and tense your toes …

... now, release!

Were you breathing? So often we get anxious or nervous, and our muscles tense up. Then, before we know it, we aren’t breathing and aren’t even conscious of it. When we’re not breathing, we expend extra energy, and we make it much more difficult to get the anus to open up for us. Deep breaths are calming, and they’re important - pair them with lube, and you’ve got a winning combination for stimulating the P-spot.

The Forgotten Erogenous Zones

Do you know what your biggest sex organ is? What your most intense erogenous zone is? Hint: everyone has one.

Drum-roll .... it’s your brain. When your brain is in the mood, when you feel stimulated and turned on, any part of your body can be an erogenous zone. An erogenous zone is any part of the body that is sensitive to sexual stimulation.

Finding erogenous zones is about fining areas of your body that aren’t often touched and eroticizing them.

One excellent way to test what zones work for you is to use sensation play: try feathers, different temperatures, pressure, tickling and vibrations across your body. Maybe your toes want to be sucked and you didn’t even know; maybe running silk or feathers across your inner thighs feels amazing; nibbling ears can be erogenous, so can running your fingernails lightly behind the knees, impact play on forearms, warm candle wax drizzled across the back of your neck ... Just think about your skin, about your body - what parts of your body get the least attention? Lots of these areas are rife with nerve-endings, which means they could be erogenous zones for you or your partner.

So get creative, give different things a try, and take pleasure in all your discoveries.

Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are sensitive and feel erotic. Usually these are areas with a higher concentration of nerves, like the clitoris and the head of the penis. They could also areas that don’t get much attention, and that have not been desensitized, like the earlobes. Finally, erogenous zones can be places that have been conditioned to turn you on; if a lover always nibbles your shoulder when they want to get it on, your shoulder might become an erogenous zone for you.

Thanks For Reading I hope you learn something New :)

How to Stimulate the Cervix

by Sade Buckeridge

In my teens and twenties, sexual pleasure always seemed to be about the clitoris. There was the mysterious G-spot that nobody seemed to be sure existed or not and, as for the cervix, nobody ever mentioned that, except when it came to pap smears.

When I was 25 I had to have a medical procedure that removes abnormal cells from the cervix that may become cancerous later in life. After the procedure, I lost orgasmic pleasure, and realized that my cervix had been involved in my orgasm without me being consciously aware of it.

The Cervix and Sexual Pleasure

At the moment of orgasm during penetrative intercourse, the cervix makes a sucking motion that, in evolutionary terms, is designed to suck sperm into the uterus. Despite this, many gynecologists aren’t aware that this is often accompanied by feelings of pleasure in the cervix. Many gynecologists still claim the cervix has no nerves.

I now run a campaign to raise awareness about how the LEEP procedure can impact our orgasms and sexual function, and I once received a message from someone who was a little skeptical about the orgasmic cervix. She wrote that, surely, ‘’if the cervix was orgasmic, then why aren’t we masturbating with it?’’

Cervical masturbation? Is that a thing?

Well that’s a good question, and I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s because it’s a little out of reach. Maybe it’s because our culture gives confusing messages about what is and isn’t orgasmic. Freud didn’t help with his concept of vaginal orgasms being "mature," and clitoral ones "immature."Gynecologist Dr. Jennifer Gunter has called the vaginal orgasm a "stupid myth" on Twitter. The clitoris has become a feminist issue, but the emphasis on it can cause other, different kinds of sexual pleasure we can experience with some exploration to be overlooked.

I asked sexuality coach Keeley Olivia for her perspective. Olvia is the founder of Self Pleasure School, a resource that helps people to reconnect to their innate, primal natural sexuality.

"There is a huge lack of information and knowledge, especially towards young women. When I was 14, nobody knew what a cervix was. At that age, when girls come of age and suddenly feel super horny and want to explore masturbation, they don’t have anything to internally masturbate with," Olivia said. "Later, perhaps around 18 or 19 when you might think about getting a sex toy, they are mostly designed to stimulate the clitoris, and we receive virtually no guidance whatsoever about masturbating. ‘’Learning to masturbate to stimulate the cervix is well worth the effort, though.

"Whereas a clitoral orgasm is felt on the surface of the body, cervical orgasms originate from the core of body. They start from deep inside the body and extends outwards. So it explodes from the center of the body out,’’ Olivia said.

Anecdotally, people report feeling nourished for days or even weeks by the afterglow of a cervical orgasm. They are pretty spectacular and well worth the effort.

Stimulating the Cervix

So how do we masturbate with the cervix in mind? Here are a few tips.

Getting That Depth

Olivia Bryant is a sexologist and founder of Self:Cervix, an online course to help women awaken the cervix and experience pleasure. She says that our ability to reach the cervix easily can depend on our body shape. For example, if you have a long torso and short arms it may be more difficult.

You can try to shorten your torso by lying back in a squatting position, or putting your butt on a pillow. Lying on your side with legs bent up, like a fetal position, can also make it easier to reach.

The cervix changes position during different times of the month, so during your period or before ovulation you may find it easier to get to.

A glass wand or dildo specifically designed for reaching the cervix can also help; even if you can reach your cervix, your fingers may not have the stamina to provide the best kind of stimulation.

Waking Up The Cervix

The cervix is the least sensate of the sexual organs, (despite having the most nerves), so it can take a little waking up.

Bryant says that the cervix tends to become numb after years of poking and prodding with pap smears and medical procedures, as well as traumatic experiences. The cervix can also become numb after sexual encounters when it is banged against in an uncomfortable way, and if we don’t feel like we can speak up for the kind of sex we want.

For this reason both Olivia and Bryant teach a practice called "de-armouring," where gentle pressure is used to release tension from the cervix.

"The cervix can be pretty tender, if you just start stimulating it right away, especially if you’ve had some kind of medical procedure. You might feel numbness, tenderness, for a period of time, perhaps even months where you’ll need to spend time awakening the cervix, so that you can start to feel pleasure there. Do not be disheartened if you don’t feel pleasure right away.’’

Bringing Awareness to the Cervix

During Bryant’s Self:Cervix course, participants try abstaining for 21 days as part of the cervical awakening process. Bryant says that because we are so "clitorally focused," having a period of abstinence can help us rewire and strengthen the neural pathways between the cervix and the brain.

Olivia recommends splitting your awareness between the clitoris and cervix by trying clitoral simulation and noticing the sensations of pleasure, and then stimulating the cervix with slow, steady, repetitive motion and taking your awareness to the cervix.

"Sometimes the pleasure can feel subtle, but once you pay attention it can start to grow. Take your time," Olivia said. "Clitoral orgasms can happen quickly but cervical orgasms can take much longer, perhaps even 45 minutes. The time it takes can decrease over time with practice. ’’

OK ... so why have we never heard about this?

One thing I’m curious about is how our society can be so unaware that the cervical orgasm exists. I can’t help feeling that female sexual pleasure has been hidden or suppressed.

Olivia agrees. "The sexual erotic arts have been hidden from society. When you have full sexual aliveness in your body, it gives you a lot of personal freedom," she said.

I think it’s the psychotherapist Wilhelm Reich who said if people had really alive, natural sexuality they couldn’t be controlled by the state.

Having experienced the the empowering pleasure of cervical orgasm for myself, I can’t help but agree.

Playtime in the bedroom

by Sade Buckeridge

When it comes to the bedroom, many still entertain the archaic notion that any outside assistance reflects poorly on their lovemaking skills.

Introducing toys into a partnered sex life can be both ego-bruising and awkward at first, but proves worthwhile for those seeking long-term sexual satisfaction. Couples that use toys report higher levels of physical satisfaction, communication and overall intimacy.I know, it all sounds great in theory. However, the thought of actually having this conversation renders most faces what paint companies refer to as “eggshell.”

Many fear this conversation because of its obviously negative implications. Asking your partner to incorporate toys can translate to “you’re inadequate” or “I’m bored.” This is not the case for the vast majority of those looking to spice up their sex lives. For men and women who find themselves intimidated by the introduction of a third, silicone part.


These might just be your average board games but they’re played in a totally fun way! Read on to discover our new take on them and how to turn your board games closet into a wealth of bedroom games. A deck of cards and a sassy attitude are all you need to make these classic card games the ultimate in intimate foreplay ideas. They’re not your grandmother’s card games anymore but we still think you’ll agree that these easy to create bedroom games are filled with sexy fun! Favorite games are turned on their heads and are ready for an intimate night of fun!


Strip SorryWhen you ‘bump’ your spouse in the game, you also get to ‘bump’ off a piece of their clothing! It’s a double WIN each time! Chances are, you won’t be finishing this game but we have a feeling you’ll be diving into a whole new world of bedroom games.

Playtime in the bedroom

by Sade Buckeridge

When it comes to the bedroom, many still entertain the archaic notion that any outside assistance reflects poorly on their lovemaking skills.

Introducing toys into a partisfaction. Couples that use toys report higher levels of physical satisfaction, communication and overall intimacy.I know, it all sounds great in theory. However, the thought of actually having this conversation renders most faces whatnered sex life can be both ego-bruising and awkward at first, but proves worthwhile for those seeking long-term sexual sat paint companies refer to as “eggshell.”

Many fear this conversation because of its obviously negative implications. Asking your partner to incorporate toys can translate to “you’re inadequate” or “I’m bored.” This is not the case for the vast majority of those looking to spice up their sex lives. For men and women who find themselves intimidated by the introduction of a third, silicone part.


These might just be your average board games but they’re played in a totally fun way! Read on to discover our new take on them and how to turn your board games closet into a wealth of bedroom games. A deck of cards and a sassy attitude are all you need to make these classic card games the ultimate in intimate foreplay ideas. They’re not your grandmother’s card games anymore but we still think you’ll agree that these easy to create bedroom games are filled with sexy fun! Favorite games are turned on their heads and are ready for an intimate night of fun!


Strip SorryWhen you ‘bump’ your spouse in the game, you also get to ‘bump’ off a piece of their clothing! It’s a double WIN each time! Chances are, you won’t be finishing this game but we have a feeling you’ll be diving into a whole new world of bedroom games.

Talking Dirty: What Your Lover Wants To Hear During Sex !!

by Sade Buckeridge


Talking dirty has a bit of a bad reputation. The main connotations are to porn scenes and four letter words being screamed at high pitch. But the truth is, sex talk plays a big part in many couples’ sex lives and can significantly improve intimacy on many levels.

Talking to your lover in the build up to sex can really heighten the sexual tension, leading naturally into physical foreplay and an increased sense of passion during sex. Once things get going, sex talk can also spice things up in positions where you have face-to-face contact, allowing your partner to hear your voice and feel your breathe to full effect. It can also result in both partners being able to orgasm quicker by adding an extra psychological aspect into the equation, which is sure to whip you both up into a sexual frenzy!


The idea of talking obscenities during sex doesn’t turn everyone on, however, it doesn’t have to be all rude and nasty. Speaking during sex can really help rekindle romance within a relationship and can also help to re-assure both partners that they are doing a good job. Hearing your partner moan with pleasure or tell you that they are really enjoying being with you can be a big signal that you are doing something right and can give you more encouragement going forward to be a bit more daring or adventurous.


1. That feels so amazing

2. I love how big/wet you feel right now

3. Please don’t ever stop what you are doing

4. Wow, this is the best feeling ever

5. You are turning me on so much

6. I want you to take control of me

7. I want to make you orgasm


Sometimes, the way you say something during sex can be just as effective as what you are actually saying. As a rule, women generally find it easier to sex up their voice with gentle whispers and sultry tones, whereas men might sometimes find it harder to get the tone right. Whatever happens, you want to avoid the words coming out sounding brash, offensive or derogatory to your partner.

It might sound silly, but practicing what you are going to say in advance can really help. If you are alone in your car or at home before your partner gets in, say a few phrases and practice the tone of your voice when you say it to see if it feels right. You will probably feel silly or uncomfortable, but at least you can avoid feeling like this in front of your lover later on.


by Sade Buckeridge

Is squirting always a result of internal (aka “G-Spot”) stimulation?


There’s actually no univocal connection between squirting and G-spot stimulation. On the other hand that’s not to say that squirting doesn’t happen as a result of G-spot stimulation too.

Squirting and /or “gushing” can actually happen solely through external stimulation, i.e; touching the vulva, without even inserting a fingertip inside the vagina.

Isn’t squirting this fashionable ‘must-have’ that every woman wants to be able to do?

No. While there is a lot of hype and fetishisation around squirting being the pinacle of sexual capability, for the women who experience it in real life (let’s keep porn out of the picture for now) it can be inconvenient and embarrassing. The undeniable stigma and persistent belief that it’s just ‘peeing during sex’ does nothing to help this.

Is squirting the equivalent to being incontinent?

Here’s another big, big NO.

Squirting happens solely during sexual activity. The vulva and/or vagina must be stimulated usually with a finger, vibrator, penis (or whatever else you’ve using to be stimulated during sexual activity) to result in the expulsion of liquid (squirting).

Incontinence on the other hand, is the release of small amounts of urine in everyday moments (it often occurs from coughing, laughing, screaming, sneezing) with – obviously – no genital stimulation.

So, to recap:

Squirting = small to very large amounts of liquid, it may be off-white or clear, via the urethra, during sex, or sexual play (alone or with someone else).

Incontinence = small to medium amounts of urine, via the urethra, not related to sexual activity or genital stimulation.

What might be the biggest difference between the two is this: you cannot stop an incontinence episode, even if you’d like to, even if you try to. On the other hand, you can stop a squirting episode.

It would mean more or less putting a stop to your sexual pleasure, but it is possible. As a matter of fact, a woman may be on the verge of squirting during sex, and feel an urge that is very similar to the pee urge. As the general reaction to this feeling is to hold it back, this in turn stops the juice from being released.

Are you sure squirting isn’t peeing? Can a woman squirt without being incontinent?

Yes, yes yes. Assuming a woman who happens to squirt is incontinent is incredibly disrespectful, let alone unsubstantiated.

The anti-squirting advocates use this hypothesis relentlessly, it’s a great way of sex-shaming women: not being able to fully control our own bladder is shameful, and women are generally worried about the topic. So what better way to make a woman uncomfortable than telling her that her body’s response to sexual pleasure is actually a bladder dysfunction – that she’s peeing herself while making love or masturbating?

But it’s a big, fat LIE.

There are lots and lots of women who experience squirting during sex but no problem controlling their bladder in their daily lives.

But wait, can’t a woman squirt AND also be incontinent?

Of course it may happen. But it is essential to keep in mind that the two don’t go together – they’re utterly distinct and separate.

Moreover, being incontinent is not a irreversible condition. There are exercises specifically tailored to rebuild the pelvic floor ( “Kegel exercises”, “Kegel balls”, and also “Hypopressive method”).

If you happen to damp your panties a little while coughing, laughing, screaming or sneezing (regardless of whether you generally squirt during sex) you may want to address the issue with your GP or gynecologist.

Ok so squirting isn’t pee. But then, what liquid is squirting made of?

Let’s be honest: there’s no scientific answer to this question yet.

It is true that the squirting liquid comes out from the urethral orifice, same as urine. It is also true that it has a similar texture: both squirting fluid (let’s say: gushing) and urine are not sticky, which makes squirt very different from the type of juices a vagina discharges while aroused. BUT the squirting fluid does not have the same color, smell or taste as pee.

Is squirting the same thing as having an orgasm?

This is a very common misconception. The answer, not at all.

Squirting can happen once or multiple times during sex. It provides pleasurable sensations, which some women describe as a ‘release’ and it can indeed lead to orgasm.

However, squirting and an orgasm are not one in the same, and do not necessarily occur simultaneously.

Did you cum? Why We Fake it and Why it Matters:

by Sade Buckeridge

I didn’t realize faking an orgasm was a thing, until, well… I started having sex myself which in writing this article sent me back to ’97 and this in particular scene. I get it now. But popular media aside, real people having real sex actually fake orgasms more than you’d think and for a variety of reasons. Have you ever faked it? I know I have, maybe more times than I’ve seen that movie. In retrospect, I realize how destructive this practice really is. If you’re having sex with the goal of orgasm in mind, why on earth would you fake it? Faking it sends signals to your partner that you are super into what is going on, and that’s a good way to get you there. But it’s not. Communication is key- whether that’s through a Yes, No Maybe guide, body language or plain old conversation. You should be having the sex you deserve.

A study explored gender differences in young adult heterosexual men’s and women’s experiences, beliefs, and concerns regarding the occurrence or nonoccurrence of orgasm during sexual interactions, with emphasis on the absence of female orgasm during intercourse

  • The most common concern regarding lack of female orgasm in a partnered context focused on the negative impact this might have on the male partner’s ego.
  • Male and female participants also agreed that men have the physical responsibility to stimulate their female partner to orgasm, while women have the psychological responsibility of being mentally prepared to experience the orgasm.
  • Men and women tended to maintain different beliefs, however, regarding clitoral stimulation during intercourse, as well as the importance of female orgasm for a woman’s sexual satisfaction in a partnered context.
  • Participants reported faking an orgasm in approximately one-fourth of sexual encounters in their current sexual relationship, most commonly during vaginal sex.
  • Faking orgasm for reasons related to a poor sexual experience or to poor partner choice was the strongest predictor; associated with lower levels of desire and sexual and relationship satisfaction.
  • Faking orgasm to support a partner’s emotional well-being was associated with higher levels of desire.
  • Faking orgasm because one was intoxicated, having undesired sex, or out of a desire to improve the quality of the sexual encounter was associated with higher levels of sexual satisfaction.


Welcome to the safe space where kinksters, rookies, and all those in between unite. If you’re looking to explore a new fetish, maybe dabble in a few new kinks, or find out what exactly a brat is (…among other things), you’ve come to the right place.

For the ~experienced~ kinksters, a BDSM test will help you find something new to try in (or out of) the bedroom. For those who are on the vanilla side looking to dabble into ventures you *might* be into, this test will also help you in all your sexy-time fun. Let’s get into all the details about it and what you can expect.

“BDSM tests are typically a list of various sexual acts and attitudes that the test taker ranks on a scale ranging from ‘I’m 100 percent into that’ to ‘Nope. Hard limit, never gonna happen,’”
Some example Qs you can expect to answer:

*Do you enjoy behaving like a child?
*Do you love being tied up with zero control?
*Do you enjoy hunting prey?
Expect to be asked deeper, nonsexual questions because BDSM isn’t only a sexual experience—often times, it requires a high level of emotional intimacy too.
“The world of BDSM is so much larger than most people think it is—it reaches beyond ‘dom’ and ‘sub’ archetypes into kinks and scenes that are uniquely specific to a participant’s sexual preferences.” Kind of cool, right?

“At first glance, it can seem overwhelming, but BDSM can be so valuable to someone’s sex life, personal life, and emotional growth.

Sex is ... perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual.

1. To have more orgasms, talk about sex in greater detail.

Men nearly always having an orgasm, but still greater sexual satisfaction if they talk about the details of sex with their partners. Women report that they don't orgasm as much as they would like, but have orgasms more often when they have sex when relationship discussions specifically include talking about sexual content.

2. Talk about the details of sex more — and more often.

Discuss sex outside of the bedroom, as a regular part of working on your overall relationship quality. Talk about what you do during sex and what it means, what you each want, what you like, what you don't like, when are the best times for sex, when you don't want sex, what your fantasies are, what feels good, what doesn't feel good, and so on. Talking about the relationship without addressing sex may improve overall relationship satisfaction, but was not correlated with sexual satisfaction in and of itself.

3. Talk about sex in a way that works for both partners.

Both the process and the content of sexual communication are correlated with greater sexual satisfaction.

4. Be positive when talking about sex.

A positive, affirming approach to discussing sex is associated with greater sexual satisfaction.

5. Sexual communication is associated with greater overall relationship satisfaction.

✅✅✅ While sexual satisfaction and healthy communication contribute strongly to greater overall relationship satisfaction, sexual communication is likely to be very different from general relationship communication overall relationship satisfaction. ✅✅✅

The best sex positions to stimulate the G spot
If you’re hoping to experience G spot stimulation during sexual intercourse, there are certain sex positions that work best. Try positions that allow you a little more control over your movements so you can figure out what types of stimulation you enjoy most. While there are many sex positions that can help you achieve this, here are three to try.

Have your partner lay on their back, then climb on top and straddle them. This position allows you complete control over the rhythm, depth, and angle of penetration so you can focus on finding your G spot.
Instead of bobbing up and down, try moving back and forth to stimulate the G spot region against your inner vaginal wall. Mixing it up can help as well, so don’t be afraid to experiment with different speeds and angles.

Doggy style
Doggy style is another great way to achieve deeper penetration during sex. It’s easy to vary the angle to hit your G spot.Start on your hands and knees with your partner behind you. During penetration, try leaning down on your forearms or pushing your hips backward to change the angle until you find the position that works best for you. If you’d like, you can try a different variation by lying flat on your stomach with your legs hanging off the edge of the bed, allowing your partner to stand behind you and penetrate from there.

Find what works for you
Despite what you might see in movies, sex isn’t always quick and easy. Women are often led to believe that sex is shameful, which can make it harder to achieve orgasm and sexual satisfaction.
Don’t be afraid to take charge of your sex life and find what you like. If that means you’re able to find your G spot and rock it, good for you. If not? That’s great too. There’s no rule that says there’s one way to orgasm, and — for most women — it’s normal to prefer a combination of efforts. Finding what works for you can take time, so be patient.
The most important thing is that you’re satisfied. Exploring your body and your sexual preferences is a great step in making sure you have a happy, safe, and pleasurable sex life. You should never feel ashamed of figuring out what you like. After all, everyone deserves to have great sex.

If you want this kind of talk to bear fruits- get the timing right. Most people find dirty talk embarrassing due to the already filthy definitions given in porn movies and other platforms. I was a little nervous about initiating dirty talk with my partner, but I was determined to initiate something new. So I decided to ask him about it and how he felt about it. The discussion helped us develop a game plan, phrases and words we could use during the dirty talks. We also decided who would initiate the conversation as it was somewhat uncomfortable for both of us at the beginning.


Our minds and bodies warmed up to the new trick pretty fast. Sexting was more exciting as I didn’t have to be conscious of saying dirty words out loud. People are comfortable with different forms of dirty talks. There are those who prefer talking dirty using texts while others prefer actual talks. In fact, dirty talk out of the bedroom helps determine your partner’s interest in the conversation. Women, unlike men, are more difficult to decipher; sometimes they want you to whisper in their ear how much you want them and other times they long for sexting. It’s up to you to determine what sets her off.


The brain sets off an individual’s sex drive and is considered a more powerful sexual organ than the male and female genital composition. Two areas of the brain involved during intercourse- the imagination areas of the brain and the frontal cortex responsible for judgment and pleasure. Erotic talk arouses these two areas by letting partners verbalize thoughts and desires about sex; it can initiate foreplay hours or days before the actual act. “I can’t wait to feel the inside of you,” my husband said after a week-long business trip. The mere thought of it sent my mind into a frenzy the whole day before he arrived in the evening.

Use dirty talk to transfer and evoke emotions.

Have you ever tried to read an erotic novel? It’s torture for men. Why? Because they’re written in a way that delivers emotions, not information. They’re written in a way that puts guys to sleep, yet fills a woman's mind with all the tiny details her arousal thrives on.
Nothing makes a woman feel more sexual than the right type of compliment.

Most women battle with two main insecurities that prevent them from coming:

Insecurities about her body
Insecurities about her performance
Advertisers spends billions of dollars to convince women their bodies aren’t “good enough” without using their products AND society seems to get off on convincing women that they’re undesirable and “slutty” if they express their sexuality. These two forces create a lot of anxiety and repression in the bedroom. The right compliments alleviate these worries and free her to feel sexy and be sexual with you.

Tying up is one of the classic BDSM moves and one that many people are familiar with. Tying your partner to a chair or a bed restricts their movement and gives you a kind of control over them you wouldn't otherwise have and with their physical choices limited, your partner has to just lay there and enjoy themselves. The roles can be reversed as well, with you being tied up and your partner having their way with you.

Another prime tenet of BDSM is spanking, caning, and slapping. A little bit of pain heightens the pleasure for many people. The keyword here is a little bit. Most people do not enjoy severe pain, which will break them out of the mood. If you do decide to add in a little slapping and spanking, especially if you're using riding crops or other tools, be gentle and ramp up slowly so no one gets hurt.Devices aren't to everyone's taste, but some people really enjoy them. Some devices play to the submissive aspects of BDSM, including ball gags, dog collars, and leashes. Others are meant to cause pain, such as nipple clamps or clothespins. Regular sex toys can also play a role in this kind of sex play, as long as everyone is okay with how they're being used.It's a little frightening to have your senses restricted in any way. This can include putting on blindfolds or masks to reduce sight, using earplugs to reduce hearing, or restraints to reduce movement. Double check what you do before beginning so everyone feels safe.While role playing can take many forms, the dominant and submissive roles are two of the most common in BDSM. Sometimes it's fun to order someone around, while other times it can be nice to be told what to do.

Choose your roles beforehand, then let the person "in charge" give the orders. Whoever is submitting during this session must follow them, or pay the price.Everyone loves the dirty general fantasy, don't they? If your partner makes you call him "sir" for the entirety of a lovemaking session, it can really add an extra spark. Of course, you should choose whatever title appeals most to you.

Perhaps "Your Majesty" or "Madam" would feel more appropriate. Stick to the titles throughout, and resort to your punishments for any slip-ups.BDSM can be a really fun way to liven things up in the bedroom, whether you've been with someone for years or are trying to see how flexible a new partner is. Whatever you do and whomever you do it with, just don't forget that sex is a very personal and vulnerable act, and both parties must be comfortable with proceedings in order for it to be good, consensual sex.

BDSM is great for some couples, but others find it isn't for them. No matter what your take, just be respectful and have fun.

While going through a dry spell is normal, unscheduled or unplanned sex can do wonders for your relationship. Spicing up your love life increases levels of passion for each other and puts spontaneity back in your relationship, making you both feel better about your commitment to each other.

Sex with your partner is an act of love. So what better way to strengthen your relationship than to actively engage in a loving activity? If busy schedules or any other preventative issues have put a damper on your sex life, make time, whether its tonight or this weekend, for sex. It'll be a good way to remember and renew your feelings and love.
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