Sex can be, and can be used for, so many different things. But early in a relationship, once you get through a couple of awkward rounds, sex can play a big role in building intimacy and even falling in love.
There is sex that is straight up sex for sex's sake— passionate, charged, carnal. There's awkward, first-time with someone you really like sex. There's random hookup sex. There's long-term couple trying to spice it up sex. The list goes on—but building intimacy during sex is one we rarely talk about.
Warning: The following sex acts may lead to the awkward "Oh crap one of us said "I love you" during sex— does it count!?" dilemma. Don't worry. It happens to the best of us. It's no need to be embarrassed, even if it is really awkward. Just remember you're not alone. (And the generally consensus seems to be that it doesn't really count.) Between a really intimate act that you're doing, heart racing, hormones all over the place, it's so easy to let it slip out in the moment.
But what are the more intimate sex acts? The ones that can make you feel so connected to your partner and overwhelmed with emotions? Here are 6 sex acts that help build intimacy.
I know it may seem basic, but don't discount kissing as a very important sex act. And maybe the most intimate one. Along with cuddling, a lot of people avoid kissing during one-night standsbecause of this. It's something we do all the time, but sometimes we can get distracted during sex and not do it as much as we should. But if you stick to positions where kissing is an option, you'll really feel connected to your partner.
Maybe because it's sort of the classic go-to position, there's definitely something romantic about it. Your faces and your entire bodies are very, very close, and the weight of whoever is on top keeps you in constant contact. And it's not just for hetero sex. So whoever you are, there can be all the eye contact, kissing, and intimacy you can handle.
Oral sex is intimate no matter what, because you're getting up close in personal with parts of the body we're normally taught should be kept hidden. But while every man I've ever met unselfconsciously loves a blow job, a lot of women find someone going down on them incredibly intimate— almost intimidatingly so. Maybe it's because you end up with someone's tongue basically, or definitely, inside you, or maybe it's just that we're taught to be even more ashamed of our vulva and that people don't like going down on it. (Both of which are ridiculous.) In any case, for a lot of women getting to a point where you're completely comfortable with oral sex means a whole lot of trust.
When you're new in a relationship it's probably all about tearing each other's clothes off, but then it slows down. I'm not saying you need some kind of big cheesy striptease, or to make a whole event out of it, but there's something really sexy and romantic about building up from just a bit of kissing, to heavy kissing, to feeling each other, and then slowly going beneath the clothing and removing them completely. All of that combined with making out can be a really connect you to your partner.
Similarly to missionary, having sex facing each other, both of you on your side, has the benefit of all over contact and your faces being close for kissing, or just some sickly-sweet staring into each other eyes. But while in missionary, one person is definitely dominant within the position, when you have sex side-by-side there's a more even playing field. Especially if you're having lesbian sex and mutually fingering each other, it's a really leveling, connecting position.
If you are a better person than me and lay there without making a horrible awkward joke, it's when you kind of bask in a little love halo (if you're having sex with someone you have romantic feelings for). Taking some time to relax into that and just enjoy it is a sure way to build intimacy.
Crazy isn't really a great word to describe a sexual fantasy, why should it be crazy. If your mind can conceive it then your body, with a little or a lot of help can probably achieve it. Think about it, sex has a come a far way from the 80’s till now, subjects and sex acts that were taboo are now commonplace and freely talked about. Your fantasies are a part of who you are and sometimes are triggered by your inner desires fears or experiences. It's easy to purchase all the bells, whistles and toys, so why should they be taboo. Don't be afraid to explore your wild side and make some of those fantasies on your bucket list a reality. So ….how many of these have you tried?
Being dominated is a desire of both men and women. Giving up control, letting go and giving in to someones whims and fantasies, while following instructions can be a powerful aphrodisiac and spice up the dullest relationship. It’s up to you how far you want to take it. If you fantasize about bondage then you can go the whole nine yards, whips, chains, cuffs, leather. Feel free to spank them, order them around, kneel at your feet and beg for what he or she wants.
Taken against your will by force might not sound like a fantasy, but lots of women dream and fantasize about being pushed up against a wall, clothes torn open, pinned up against the wall, fondling and groping the vagina and women penetrated from behind. Don’t get me wrong rape is rape, but sex between consenting adults can be anything you want it to be.
Yea it’s the new norm for some, but still a fantasy for others. Two men, one woman, two women one man.The pleasure and combinations are endless, one licking and sucking the other concentrating on penetration, whatever tickles your fancy (literally).
Being on display and having an audience can be highly erotic and thrilling, the audience can vary as well as the setting. Some prefer a more private, intimate setting, some love the thrill of doing it in public and the risk of getting caught. Buses, cars, bathrooms, parks, yard, work, home, a parent or friend’s home the possibilities are endless.
So whatever you decide to try, be safe and have fun.
Antibacterial soap and warm water is a must for cleaning toys. Any toy has come in contact with blood, should be washed in soap and water and then soaked in a solution of one part household bleach to nine parts water. Remember to rinse well in clear water after to remove any of the cleaning residue. There are also several commercial adult toy cleaning solutions that can be purchased that have been specially formulated to kill all bacteria and germs but preserve the life of the toys.
Cyberskin, Neoskin, and other skin-like materials: Depending on material, these can be porous so a thorough wash and dry is the way to go. Fetish Secretz recommends a light coating of cornstarch to keep these toys maintained. Cyberskins are extremely sensitive and should be cleaned following use with warm water and stored in a clean dry place. Be sure to read the manufacturers instruction on how to care for these products.